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If bedtime in your house feels like a two-hour emotional rollercoaster ending in tears (yours included), I see you.
Evenings are the part of the day I still dread the most.
Everyone’s tired, the house is loud, patience is thin, and my son’s busy brain is still going full throttle.
Trying to get him to wind down and into bed feels like wrestling a bear that’s just necked a Red Bull.
But after a lot of trial and error, and I mean a lot, we eventually found a bedtime routine that actually helped.
It’s not perfect. Nothing with ADHD ever is.
But it’s workable, repeatable, and on our better days, it even feels calm.
If you’re stuck in the chaos of ADHD bedtimes, here’s what helped us turn things around.
Hopefully some of it helps make your evenings 5% less mental too.
It took me a while to realise this wasn’t just “normal bedtime resistance.”
The refusal, the bouncing off the walls, the constant distractions, the full-blown meltdowns over the wrong pyjamas; they weren’t just bad behaviour. They were my son’s ADHD showing up in full force.
ADHD brains struggle with transitions. Especially ones that involve slowing down.
Sleep requires shutting off stimulation, and that’s the very thing their brain fights against.
And then there’s the sensory stuff - itchy clothing, a wrinkle in the bedsheet, the room feeling “too quiet” or “too loud.”
For a neurotypical child, these might not register. For a busy brain, they’re show-stoppers.
Understanding this was a game-changer. It helped me shift from frustration to problem-solving.
We started experimenting with different ideas, tracking what made things better or worse, and slowly stitched together a routine that actually sticks, most nights. Here’s our flow:
We start winding down well before the actual bedtime.
At 7pm, we give a clear, visual cue - I point to the clock hands and explain when we’re going to bed. Kitchen timers or countdown apps just didn’t work for us but they might work for you. Something like, “When the big hand gets to here, it’s story time.”
No surprises. No sudden transitions. Just clear signals.
Toilet, teeth, wash face, PJs, all done in one go. We call it the “Bathroom Blitz” and even made a silly little chant out of it.
We used to separate these steps, but that gave him space to get distracted and start drawing or playing with toys.
Combining it into one ‘mission’ makes it easier for him to stay on track.
This is the hardest one which doesn’t always land well, but it’s made a big difference overall.
TV is my son’s kryptonite. Turning it off has triggered more meltdowns than I can count.
Keeping it on too late just makes the wind-down impossible.
Now we switch to audiobooks, puzzles, LEGO, or drawing instead.
It took a bit of a fight initially, but the benefits have been worth it.
We added a positive association at the end of the day.
For us, this is story time. Depending on how long it takes to get ready for bed, he gets up to 3 stories. Too long, he loses them all.
It’s a risky tactic and doesn’t always work, but most nights it helps.
It gives him a reason to want to get into bed, not just avoid it.
We invested in a My Little Morphee. Expensive, but it’s been worth its weight in gold. (Not an ad, this is genuine).
The idea came from him struggling to drop off, so I started lying with him and put on guided meditations on Spotify. The problem then became me getting out of his bed without waking him up (and staying awake myself!)
We found My Little Morphee and he absolutely loves it. It helps him go to sleep and is another small thing that he looks forward to at bedtime.
We end bedtime with the exact same sentence:
“Goodnight, son. See you in the morning. Love you lots like jelly tots.”
I don’t know how much this helps, but consistency is key so I’ve always ran with this.
They might work for you, but these were a no-go in our house:
Great in theory, but he quickly got bored. Everything ended up on his bedroom floor.
This turned bedtime into a transactional nightmare. Plus, with ADHD time blindness, the concept of “Friday reward” meant nothing to him on Monday night.
I’m not proud, but I tried it, “If you don’t go to bed, no TV tomorrow!” It only added more stress, escalated the tension, and didn’t work. He wasn’t refusing to sleep to be difficult, he couldn’t switch off.
This isn’t just about bedtime. It’s about building connection, reducing shame, and creating a rhythm that helps your child feel safe.
Before we figured this out, I used to take it all personally. I thought he was winding me up on purpose.
I ended most evenings angry and defeated.
Now, I understand that my job isn’t to force him to sleep. It’s to create the best environment possible and be consistent.
Some nights still fall apart. But most nights feel better, and that’s enough for me.
If bedtime feels like a war zone in your house, you're not alone.
ADHD bedtime routines are hard, but they’re not impossible.
We’re still figuring it out, night by night. But this routine has brought us from chaos to calm more nights than not.
That’s progress.
And that’s enough for now.
You’ve got this, Dad. You’re still in it, and you’re doing better than you think.
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